Lovers and Friends

Yesterday got off to the worst start ever. Me and Country D were getting ready for work. And she was making her breakfast to take with her. Cereal and Milk. Now I was on the computer doing my usual checks of emails before I go. She said could u help me carry this stuff to my car I got up and said sure. Then I saw the mess. Their was milk all on my Obama magazine collection. Now don't get me wrong it is just magazines but I work hard for the little money I have and she always seems to mess up something of mine. Now Before I opened my mouth I tried to think of something of hers that I really messed up. I couldn't think of anything and maybe she will correct me once I read this,so the pissed off me came out. It is hard for me to hold in emotion for so long and well frankly this was my breaking point. She had broken one of my shot glasses I collect like two weeks ago,I didn't say anything. It is hard to replace my shot glasses they come from all over the country.

But I didn't say a word. She broke my camera and even though she replaced it,it was straight attitude from her the entire time that I was looking for a new one. It seems that every-time Country D does something,she never wants me to react how I should react. Is it wrong for me to get mad?Well I was livid yesterday morning. And well it started a very big fight including a very loud "Fuck You" from me as she walked down the steps. Mind you it is 6 in the morning and I am sure that I woke up every neighbor we have on our floor. When I apologized she blew it off as me just talking. She never admits that I can have feelings to. It is always you take everything to the extreme. After everything we have been thru I think I can have one "fuck it" moment. It is only so long a person can stand by and not say anything. She gets so mad if I raise my voice or start to cuss. I haven't done anything to u and you constantly fuck up my stuff. So yes I was mad. I do tend to be junky around the house but I have never broken her things. It is like fighting a uphill battle with her. And this always seems to happen after we have sex. It is like we go from good to bad in 1.5 seconds. I just want to stay in the good portion. But it never works. We haven't sat down and talked about it. I doubt we will. She sees it as pointless and over now,so the feelings will just continue to fester in me I guess until something else happens.

Damn Lovers and Friends.....

Then their is Sexy Lips. This young lady I have had a huge crush on for about two years now. We have flirted and I have exchanged lil kisses and hugs but that is about it. I saw her for the first time last night at this party I went to. We haven't spoken in months because of a misunderstanding that was said from someone that is close to both of us. I told her nothing was said but I guess that wasn't good enough for her,and we haven't spoken since. Well I knew she was going to be at this party and I didn't know if she was going to try to ignore me,or just act neutral since our friends were going to be there. At first it was kind of awkward because her roommate came in and hugged me as I was taking pictures and well she kind of just waived hi. She gave me that look like I love you but I hate you all at the same time. Well as the night went on,the ice began to break and she actually talked to me and made fun of me as she usually does. She was eating a strawberry at one point and I couldn't help but stare. And she knew I was looking and made sure I could see every motion of her lips. Now she has told me over and over again in her words that "that dog ain't hunting" meaning no girl on girl for me. But she never really stops me from flirting. It is confusing yet understnadbale. I mean hell who doesn't like to feel wanted sometimes. Anyway i finally got a hug and well I damn sure didn't want to let go. But I know that this is a tree I don't need to waste my time barking up. She would never date me and well I got to work extra hard to even get my friend back. But at least the ice is broken. Maybe if I send one of my flirty sexual texts she might actually write me back again....

Damn Lovers and Friends......