Expect the Unexpected

I have so much going thru my mind right now. The new person in my life is taking me thru things I never thought I would go thru emotionally. I think I have come up with the tag name for her, "rock star". From appearance it fits her perfectly. She has been living with me for almost two weeks and well everyday I learn something new. But that is to be expected. It is weird living with someone that I am dating but not actually in a relationship with. It is not a long term move,she will have her own apartment soon. I can't say that I am not ready to go back to my life of having my moments to myself. But I am. I feel like I am missing out on things by always having to spend time with rock star. She in a way makes me feel like she is needy . Not in a bad way but she always wants to be with me or around me. I guess I got spoiled by Country D because she always had something to do and well it allowed us to have time away from each other.

Speaking of her she has been giving me major attitude since all of this started. We may have one or two good moments,but as soon as I say that "rock star" has an issue with something it turns into a whole other thing. I don't know how to make them play nice. Especially since "rock star" doesn't know about the past that I and Country D had. I have learned from my past mistakes and I don't want to tell her because I already know that would be the end of anything else happening. But I know that at least for two more years ,it is going to be the three of us in a since. I have got to find a way to make this work...... But back to the new new. She is like a soft stud. Now I consider myself a soft stud as well. And well I never thought I would date someone who had more manly clothes then I did. I like to be in control of my relationships and well I feel like this is going to be a tug of war. I like her style but I have always been into more feminine women. When looking at her profiles on-line she has no pictures where she is dressed like a stud. So needless to say when I and rock star went shopping and I saw what she was picking out, I was shocked.

It is not a bad thing,it is just going to take some getting use to if we get to the point where we want to be together. I felt uncomfortable when we went out this weekend because she was well dressed like me and I felt like I was out with one of my boys more so than my girl. I don't know how to have this convo with her because well I don't want to change her,because that is what makes her comfortable. But it makes me kind of uncomfortable. Then her attitude about certain things can tend to get on my nerves but those things I can just laugh off, it doesn't get to me. Only time will tell I guess if I can deal with her and how she is. We are still in that getting to know each other stage. One thing that bothers me is the fact that she doesn't like sex and is not affectionate. I am beinging to think I will never find a woman that holds both of those qualities. Even Country D was like that and it bothered me all the time. She is so affectionate now with the dude that she is with. And whether she knows it or not it makes me mad every time I see them together and frankly I don't want to be around them a whole lot. We went thru so much stuff and yet she proved right what I always told her. If I had been a man she would have treated me so differently. She never wanted a woman,she just wanted me to do what she couldn't get a man to do at the time. It is like we never happened. and well if that is how she wants it then that is how it shall be. But don't throw ke all of your happiness in my face and not expect for me to do the same.