Missing You

It is that time of the year. My mom died in March. On my spring break of my 9Th grade year. She died of cancer and everyday fro a year and a half, I was her care taker. I never thought before the day she told me I would be in that position. Around march of the year before she began to cough. Now of course catching a cough here or there is normal for anyone but not for my mom. I could count on less then one hand all the times she had been sick in my life. She was a teacher so you would think she would have caught more germs from the children but she didn't. The cough got worse and worse and finally she went to the doctor. I asked her was everything OK and she said yes. Well that yes turned into a moment I will never forget.

It was a hot day in June ,my mom and dad sat me down in their room. I knew this was not going to be a good talk. They asked me did I believe in God still(i was focusing on getting baptized the next year). I told them that my faith was stronger then ever. Then the words came out of her mouth,"I am sick". Now me being young I'm thinking OK everyone gets sick you will be ok in a couple of days right? And she told me no,she had cancer. My whole life seemed to drop down in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know how to react to it. It wasn't caught early enough so she was pretty far along and they had to start treatment immediately. So began my tasks. My mother began to get weak from the chemo and her hair began to fall out. My mom was the strongest person I knew and to see her so weak and so helpless was hard for me. I didn't know how to handle it. I had to give her shots,give her baths. Take care of her as if she was not a grown woman. It was so hard for me. My dad worked two jobs to pay the bills since she couldn't work. That summer I really didn't do much but take care of her. I went out every once in awhile because she made me,but I never really wanted to. She was in and out of the hospital which was down the street from my school. I would go to see her and sit there and just talk. I think one of the good things about it was how we talked and I learned so much that I hadn't taken the time to talk to her about.

Well months went on. Feb came and she got really sick. I prayed for the lord to let her see my birthday just one last birthday please. And the week of my birthday she felt better than she had in a long time. She was able to eat cake and enjoy my birthday with me. I was so happy. then two weeks later she went into the hospital again. Never to return home....
It was the worst feelings I had ever had in my life. and even though it has been 12 years since she passed it still hits me like it was yesterday. Even now as I type I am crying. It hurts. So many times I ask why ,why did I have to lose my mother when so many people don't even appreciate theirs. I know moms can be crazy and get on your nerves sometimes but I would love for my mom to be here just be here. Sometimes people don't realize how blessed they are..........

I have to stop now i will continue later.....