It doesn't pay to be nice....

I was looking thru some old poetry...well not old but from a lil while ago. When I am interested in a person I am all there. Whatever attention they want,whatever need they have I want to full fill it. It gets hard sometimes to be nice S.J. I am always the one that wants to make everyone happy. But now I am at a point where I am not happy with everyone else around me. I want certain things ....and well I can't always tell people what those things are. Little things go a long way with me and I pride myself on doing those. I have had to deal with issues and situations that well in so many words suck. I am dealing with realizing that yes I like people on both sides of the fence. Trying to run from it has probably caused me to lose precious time that I won't be able to get back and well unfortunately has gotten myself into a lot of the situations I have found myself in. I am a good two shoes. I go the straight rode. I do everything I am suppose to do and then some but in this game of love I continue to lose out. Is it me or do I pick people that make bad choices. I have never been one to judge but I feel that if a relationship didn't work the first time there is a reason for that. Going back to the same situation will do nothing but cause more drama and unfortunately I haven't taken my own medicine on that. I have two people I know besides myself that keep backtracking. I know what they are looking for and well yes that is your comfort zone but definitely not the best place for you.

A lot of people find comfort in the old. It is something that you know and something that you don't have to guess about. But more times than not the same mistakes are going to repeat themselves. You hope and pray that they don't but they do. I am sad. I want to be loved. Genuinely. My friends tell me I am a good person but maybe I am not good enough. I hurt just like anyone else but sometimes I feel people think I am just suppose to take things because it makes them happy. Well I am tired of living like that. I want to be happy and dog gone it I am going to get my happiness one way or the other!!!!