good nights....bad days

well last night was good for me. i went to a club called play. it was the night of the pageant, now this wasn't any regular pageant it was a gay club. you had the kings and queens. the kings were girls that were dressed as dudes. and the queens were just regular girls lesbian of course. the king portion i had never seen before. it was crazy ,this one girl we will call X was the cutest white "dude" i had ever seen. it was crazy to even believe that it was a girl. she had the dress, the walk ,the hair everything. she definitely was the talk of the evening. now of course I don't like to club so there had to be a reason for me to go out. that would be "new new' she invited me and c out to see her perform ,she was in the queen competition. she did a really good job i must say and for once i wasn't totally turned on by just seeing her move. i guess partly because of the attention she has been getting from C(who by the way they have exchanged numbers and started texting back and forth) anyway,it kind no scratch that really makes me jealous so i look at her in a different way now. its cool though to each his own i guess.



anyway back to the competition now until this morning i didn't know that one of the girls acting like a dude i actually knew until my bff p told me about it. this girl use to be the love of her life until well my bff got bored. lol. my bff has not had the best of luck with relationships probably because she spoils girls to much. anyway.......she told me that it was her in the show and i was like wow because me and c thought it was her by just looking at her but we didn't know for sure. We will call the girl "tra" for writing purposes. Tra did a really good job and came with some very good outfits. It was so entertaining but at the same time felt so wrong lol guess it was guilty pleasure.



Anyway so of course my new new and the X factor won and now they get to move on to a bigger competition which is good fro new new. She has been going thru a lot in her personal life and i am glad that she has something good to talk about now. She looked beautiful but not as beautiful as my C. (wink wink). Well on to today.....



Everything started out ok, got enough rest after staying out all night, wasn't late to work and got all my cds burned for the office. Get to work get my check and well ....I wasn't happy. That forgot my COMMMISSON!!! which made my check very short from what it was suppose to be. So i was not happy about that at all. And on top of that my keys got lost. so as you can see I am not a happy camper at all. My key to my car has a computer chip in it, so that is going to cost me a arm and a leg to get a copy of and i have to get it towed there!!!!!!!!! I guess what they say is true when it rains it pours.... I hope my night gets much better and i am going to pray that my keys turn up!





later Days............

Tears and Dreams

Last night was not a good night.......

I had dreams of not being accepted for who I am.....who i have become and it scared me. People never have looked at me as the pretty one even though i am not ugly by no means. It gets hard sometimes to be who you want to be without someone judging you and making fun of you. I don't wear dresses and i don't dress up unless i have to. I wouldn't go to a wedding or a formal without a dress but that is appropriate for that time. on a everyday basis it just isn't me. I have gained weight and not just a little weight......a LOT of weight. I have been working out but is it really working ?? not when I don't have enough money to really change my eating habits. I tried to eat less but that made me sick. It seems like whenever i truly like someone it backfires on me. Except for one person. They have always loved me for who I am. I am sure that they may want me to change somethings but they know that is what makes me ... It is so hard to be yourself sometimes........

Speak loud be PROUD!!!!

Saw this on my friend's page wanted to help pass the message.

To further support the injustice that is going on in Jena, Louisiana, we are asking that all supporters wear all black on Sept. 20th which is the day of Mychal Bell's sentencing.If you are not able to make it to the march in Jena, one of the many ways to show your support is by wearing black. It is a must that everyone support the cause by any means. This is History OUR history. Don't let this moment pass you by without taking a stand for what you believe.


Peace and Love People!

textmessaging

ok so i am a text freak...i text more than than the average person. in a month's time i have been know to have sent over 2,000 and received just as many. when i told this to my class this summer they thought i was crazy. When do you have time they asked?well i simply told them that texting is like talking on the phone. i never use any of my minutes. i text. well last night i had an interesting convo going with new new and my baby. needless to say ever since the club new new has put it upon herself to flirt really hard with my baby. i know that my baby would never do anything but it does bother me in a way but i would never let neither of them know this. Texting can also get you in trouble. there are plenty of times that baby has texted someone and pissed me off to the highest degree and the same that i have done to her. but we are on this new road to greatness so i am calming my end down. i don't look at her phone so i don't really know what she does but i trust that she is doing what she is suppose to be doing. with no trust there is no relationship right? wonderful wonderful. so it is starting to get quite nippy which is going to cause me to have to get extra creative in what i do. i have to get the mind to rolling. I am excited that it is almost time for our trip to the ATL. I get to see my other bff we will call her G. Me and G are like i guess in lame terms like two peas in a pod. I miss having her around ,she was a constant in my life. We enjoy a lot of the same things,guess thats why we are bff's lol.She is one of the few people that even know about this blog. Simply because I trust her. I trust her to love me no matter what,and me the same with her. And of course she is one of those people that aI text all the time lol. Like today and hers be so random lol but i love her.I guess that is it for now....just a lil on my mind. Ill be back for more.

Going Away,the CAB, and my girl got a girlfriend

Wow...I am getting old or shall i say that my body can't keep up with my activities like it use to. I had a lot going on this weekend,starting with Friday night. I don't club much and all of my friends know this. Well "new new" was performing at this gay club and well a long time ago i told her i would at least come see her perform once . So i figured this was better time as any to get this over with so i wouldn't have to come out to the club again lol. So i went and of course nobody was there but she did perform and I must admit had me wet at the sight of her. When she moves her body all I can think about is how she tasted that night......(wow did I just write that????). Anyway, she is so sexy to me and I must admit I have not been that attracted to someone in a very long time. We didn't really spend a lot of time together maybe an hour. I did kiss her twice but nothing to over the top. I met her play sister who is cute in her own right and is very very funny. She seems like cool peeps. Well of course Saturday is a way busier day and well I got talked into coming back by new new and sister. (They ganged up on me ) and of course new new told me to bring "my baby" with me.


Which rolls me into my Saturday. First of all my team lost......I want say who they are in college football but our season is OVER.....we couldn't recover from this start even if we won every single game for the rest of the season which from the looks of it will not happen . Other than that football was good. My job was suppose to go skating Saturday night as a team builder but of course everybody backed out at the last minute so me and "my baby" headed to nashville to go to brown skin's going away party. Now on to the story of brown skin......me and brownskin have not talked to each other since probably February right before my birthday. She has a blog as well and she is a very good writer. She does not hold back any of her feelings which was the case in one blog she wrote about me. and well lets just say i took ti to heart and didn't appreciate her opinion. We had our talk about it like grown women and well moved on. Moved on to silence and speaking to each other in public but not speaking.

Of course her and my baby were still close I just stayed at home whenever they went out or made it a point to always have company whenever she was coming over. Anyway...the party was cool it was in this place in Nashville we had never been to and they had like sushi food which i hate and of course i did not eat what i ordered. And well I was kind of sitting there in silence most of the night. One of her friends reach out to talk to me but that was only for a second. My night did not pick up till I saw one of my fav NUPE's. He has to be my fav well because eh is the only one I've ever slept with lol. And it wasn't to bad lol. Anyway he was there at the restaurant as well celebrating his frat's birthday. And of course e.Steve and the rest of the gang was there. It was nice ,me and my baby were out there talking to them for a good minute i guess to get away from the "party". While we were talking me Matt and the baby lol decided we would go to Howard's Home coming in D.C. as long as everybody could get off. I am so excited hopefully I can get good news when I go to work about it.

Anyway so we left there and headed back to the CAB. Well needless to say I was nervous. This was my first time being around new new and my baby in a setting where it didn't really matter what we did. But it turned out good. My baby even got put in a sandwich between new new and her sister lol. However my baby was drinking quite a bit, i assume to deal with how i was acting toward new new. I didn't really touch her a t all but if you know me my eyes speak a million words and i am sure that my eyes said it all that night especially when new new did her "splits " during her show. I was like oh my goodness!!!!! But i was on good behavior and by baby side most of the night. Having two girls is expensive by the way lol. Well after we left of course I had to do some very major making up which got interrupted by a call from new new who had went to another club and her car window had got busted in.

She was very upset and of course she doesn't have money right now(so she says) so i offered to help her and when she starts her new job her pay check is mine lol. So ...that was the end of my weekend because on Sunday not only did we over sleep and miss church(for the second week) I ended up being sick.....all day!. No fun for me at all.....

We will see how this week goes....later days!!!!