2007 in Reflection

Well 2007 is coming to a close and honestly I can't say that i am sad to see it go. 2007 has been a very trying year for me. I lost my job partly because I was considered a racist. Yea you heard me right a racist. A parent said that I was a better worker then one of the new employees that happened to be white. Now personally I thought the woman did a way better job in the position than I did. But because I repeated what she said I was tossed. My manager let me resign but it still hurt because I have friends who are mixed and of all races and I never want to be thought in that light because that is not me. Secondly my love life. My sexuality has been a undercover issue with some for awhile and now it is pretty much out there that I like men and women. Trying to date and be in love has been so hard this year that it has caused me a many a sad night. I wanted this one girl in particular E. But I guess in the end it wasn't meant to be. The love of my life has taken me thru it this year. I never thought we would have fought as much as we did but I hope that thru it all it helped us grow. She definitely taught me about forgiveness and truly loving thru faults. Other girls have used and abused me but I guess that is all a apart of dating. A couple of weeks ago I wrote people and told them how I felt they impacted my life in 2007. I meant every word and still do. Everyone has an affect on your life that makes you turn into the person that you are turning into. Many people don't know that they have the affect,some may not care. But it is good for you and them to let then know. you know never know how your words may affect or help someone.

2007 did have it's positives. I finally let go of some relationships that I think I really need to move on from. And I gained more respect for others. j and g have always had a profound affect on my life and I am happy my friendships with them are growing. I completed my Master's degree and I am now done with college. At least for a little while until I get my Doctorate. I did gain more respect for the church and how it is ran but I did fall off on church which I definitely need to work on that in 08.

07 was the year of completing. I completed school. I completed a work life that well was in the end really not for me. I think it was hindering me from going on in my life and God showed me that there are bigger and better things out there and I need to go out and get them and not be complacent. I also completed some relationships and ended the ones I needed to.

08 is the year of new beginnings. I pray that I start the career that is for me in the place that maybe my new newness lies. I finally started applying for jobs outside of TN. It may be time for me to move on. I am on a journey this year. Better health,better church life,better relationship with GOD,better relationship with those around me,overall just a better ME. 08 is the beginning of a new Shawna and I am going to strive everyday of 08 to let people know I love them and that I am going to achieve everything that is meant for me. I am bout to take the world by storm and I hope that everyone is ready......08 here I come!!!!!!!

music is my first love......

Music helps heal the soul especially in matters of the heart...

so here is my healing....

I look into her eyes and I always want to get CLOSER
Closer to the thought of their being an us
I want to get BACK TO YOU...you and me to begin again
You are so BEAUTIFUL in every way
especially with that smile you send my way.
I WANT U... to want me to,I know I could be good for you...
I know REAL LOVE...i was raised that way


I see the pain you go thru and I want to save you.
Show you how tru love is suppose to be.
You and me should not have had our ENCORE not just yet.
IF I HAD YOU ...you would feel like NOTHING EVEN MATTERS
because you would have that love that you have been longing for.
THINKIN OF YOU makes me SMILE.
I have wanted you for awhile
I just need you ,and you need me.

I LOVE MAKING LOVE TO MY LOVE.
I've thought of so many things I could call you...but
BEAUTY IS HER NAME.
LATELY you have been going thru my mind
and i can't lie i have thoughts of that BUMP -n- GRIND.
I just want you to SAY YES
to being mine
use your IMAGINATION to see our future so bright and true
IT FEELS SO RIGHT you as MY BOO.
I want you to kiss me LIKE YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN
cus i am hopelessly wreckless in this WRECKLESS LOVE.

20 Things to Remember

Not a lot of time to blog now but I got this from a friend thought it was good to pass along. Thanks Ms. McBride!!!

1. Faith is the ability to not panic.
2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you prayed, don't worry.
3. As a child of God, prayer is kinda like calling home everyday.
4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out ofshape.
5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wantsus to be still so He can untangle the knot.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.
9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
10. Laugh every day - it's like inner jogging.
11. The most important things in your home are the people.
12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.(Preach it!)
13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.Come on in.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
16. We do not remember days but moments. Life moves too fast soenjoy your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it; otherwiseit's just hearsay.
18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again.Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living your life successfully requirescourage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courageand risk-taking. Learn from the turtle, it only makes progresswhen it sticks out its neck.
20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.Your character is what you really are, while your reputationis merely what others think you are. No matter the storm,when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.Leave gentle fingerprints on the soul of another for theangels to read. I don't want to get to the end of my lifeand find that I lived just the length of it. I want to havelived the width of it as well.