Missing You Part 2

As March approached my mom returned home one last time. We had the "talk". I knew that my mom was very religious and well I felt she had told the lord she was ready. Ready for the pain to be over so she could join him. We started to have talks about how I should live my life and about the things I wanted for my future. I told her that I felt I was being punished for something,I didn't know what but something. I had just lost my grandpa,the second love of my life two years earlier. I did everything with my grandpa and my mother. He spoiled us. And I never really got along with my dad and grandma like I should have. I was afraid to be left alone with them because I knew it would not go well. I told her I didn't feel comfortable with that man. We just didn't get along. I knew it hurt her a little to hear it but I didn't know how else to put it. I had never lied to my mother before. I just sat and cried in her arms and held her as tight as I could without hurting her frail bones.

I woke up the next morning to find my dad and no mother around. She was back in the hospital. She had gotten sick while I was sleep and he had admitted her. He had just came home to take me to school and he was going back. he told me to prepare myself because it may be the end. Needless to say school was not on my mind at all while I sat in class. I left school and ran down to the high school down the street. There my older sister and my older cousin were in school. The assistant principal was friends with my dad. She saw me crying and asked what was wrong. No one really knew about my mom being sick. Her and my dad kind of sheltered the situation away from those that they could. I told her that I needed my sister or cousin to take me to the hospital that was like right next door because I was to young to get in by myself. My cousin came to the office. I hadn't seen her in three years. She was shocked to see me. I told her why I was there and she got furious. Not at me but at the fact that I was having to go thru this alone and none of my family knew.

She called her dad immediately. My uncle as I call him has always been the one in the family to take care of the elderly and the sick. He never wants anyone to go without. He was so livid with my father for not saying anything to the family. And mad at my grandma as well. My grandmother had told the family that the reason they hadn't seen us was because my mother had a misscarriage. She lied to them over and over again. Actually my grandma's sister had died the year before and that was the last time we had seen a lot of them. And we didn't stay at that funeral long. My grandma had forbidden me and my mother from seeing the family. Yes I said forbidden. It was like we were in the world alone but we really weren't. Some of my family now thinks that my grandma was just ashamed at the fact that I was birthed out of wedlock and that my parents weren't and had never been married. I had not even met my father and knew he was my father till I was 8. Anyway,so my cousin took me to see her and it was a shock for her to see her in the bed as well. Most of the younger people in the family loved my mom. She was the youngest grandchild of my great grandma's children. So she seemed to be the cool one, who would always do fun stuff with the great grand kids.

My cousin knew her dad was not going to be happy about this because he treated my mom like a lil sister and all of this had been going on and he knew nothing. I knew the next two weeks was not going to be fun for me..and the tough skin on me began to grow.