So I was talking to Bff earlier today. She coaches two softball teams(don't know how she has the time). And the ex fiance we will call her snowflake,plays for a opposing team. Today was the first day they have played against each other in their league. Snowflake has a new boo who she has thrown all in my bff's face. Now snowflake was not a lesbian before she dated my bff but all of a sudden after they broke up she never wanted to go back to men again. The first girl she becomes wifey to looks like a man. (go figure). She is not attractive at all. Why is it the one right after u is usually never as attractive as you?Anyway. They are so in love after a month(damn lesbians always moving fast). They have matching tatoos and everything. Now my bff has a boo to. The use to be best friend of snowflake. Drama I know.
Well they all were at the game and needless to say comments were made back and forth. Thankful a cat fight did not break out and I did not have to drive out to the game to stop anyone from going to jail. But it is clear to me that feelings still exist between snowflake and my bff. They don't want to admit it but the fact that they were still texting each other and the fact that my bff was getting more upset as she put up new pics of her and the man,was enough. I think that there breakup really had no closure and they just never really let it go. I mean they were engaged and ready to spend the rest of their lives with each other. I think that after a relationship like that u need to take time to get yourself and your feelings together. But neither of them did that. The new girl for snowflake is a typical stud and since she has never dated one I give it about 6 months before her happy wanna be life falls apart. The girl lives in ATL which is about 4 hours away from us. To think that she will not cheat is hard to stomach. Maybe she will prove me wrong,but I doubt it.Anybody want to put some money on it?lol
Saturday, April 25, 2009
KickBall,Beautiful Weather and B-days Part II
I got two random kisses which weren't bad lol. None of which from Carmen though. Oh well. I think we are better off as friends anyway. Not that I wouldn't want to smack it up flip it and rub it down. But I also don't want to deal with the other side of things that comes with that. Sex changes things and not always for the better. I would rather keep it simple and not have to worry. We have built a very good relationship and unlike all the other lesbian friends that I have had that have crashed and burned I would like to keep this one intact. I am going to take her out for dinner cus I promised it a long time ago once I got my job I would. So I have to keep that promise. But it won’t be on that level. Well after a evening of hunch punch, video making(the things i do with my camera) and gay boys doing everything under the sun, it was time to go home. Now I don't know if I ever mentioned it but me and Country D do actually still live together. It has been interesting to say the least, but not something I am ready to let go of. And neither is my head between her legs. As to where I ended my night. It was actually some of the best sex we have ever had. Not the best but it was a top 5 performance. All night long I couldn't help but notice how her titties looked in her dress. Hell for that matter everyone noticed.....She had put some baby oil on, so every time they hit a light they got more and more noticeable and I noticed with big eyes and hands that wanted to wrap them up like a subway sandwich.
When we got home I knew she was gone on the hunch punch. So she always gets extra aroused when she has been drinking. She wasn’t drunk but she was tipsy. She still knew everything she was doing. I was standing in her room watching her get out of her dress and in to her shorts. She didn’t put a shirt on. She knew what she was doing. She got into the bed and I followed to the side of it. As she layed there we continued to talk about the night. And as she talked my hand began to cup her breasts. My hand went from her breasts down to her stomach where I began to place small kisses all over. I took one breasts and engulfed it with my lips and tongue. She was wet by now and I began to make small circles around her navel and then I went further south. She wrapped her legs around me and I could hear and feel her moans with every touch. She asked me “did I still like it” and I said “ always”. Iw as going back and forth, left and right up and down. You would have thought I was sucking on a snow cone I was so into it. I love when I woman puts her hands on my head and tells me what she wants me to do. It turns me on so much. She had one of the best climax’s I had ever gotten out of her. I even bit and kissed her booty, as she giggled lol. Afterwards she said she had a lot of sexual tension built up. Don’t we all I was thinking. I kissed her goodnight and went into my room. We didn’t get into it again because she had to wake up early for work. I texted Carmen to make sure she had made it home ok and she did. She told me she had a great time and that she was going out with a friend on Saturday to have a fun filled day all over again. And I ended my night like I have been doing a lot lately, holding on to my pillow and my tiggie……. Sound asleep alone.
I was going to put up a few pics but until I can black out the faces I can’t do that lol.
When we got home I knew she was gone on the hunch punch. So she always gets extra aroused when she has been drinking. She wasn’t drunk but she was tipsy. She still knew everything she was doing. I was standing in her room watching her get out of her dress and in to her shorts. She didn’t put a shirt on. She knew what she was doing. She got into the bed and I followed to the side of it. As she layed there we continued to talk about the night. And as she talked my hand began to cup her breasts. My hand went from her breasts down to her stomach where I began to place small kisses all over. I took one breasts and engulfed it with my lips and tongue. She was wet by now and I began to make small circles around her navel and then I went further south. She wrapped her legs around me and I could hear and feel her moans with every touch. She asked me “did I still like it” and I said “ always”. Iw as going back and forth, left and right up and down. You would have thought I was sucking on a snow cone I was so into it. I love when I woman puts her hands on my head and tells me what she wants me to do. It turns me on so much. She had one of the best climax’s I had ever gotten out of her. I even bit and kissed her booty, as she giggled lol. Afterwards she said she had a lot of sexual tension built up. Don’t we all I was thinking. I kissed her goodnight and went into my room. We didn’t get into it again because she had to wake up early for work. I texted Carmen to make sure she had made it home ok and she did. She told me she had a great time and that she was going out with a friend on Saturday to have a fun filled day all over again. And I ended my night like I have been doing a lot lately, holding on to my pillow and my tiggie……. Sound asleep alone.
I was going to put up a few pics but until I can black out the faces I can’t do that lol.
KickBall,Beautiful Weather and B-days
Friday was definitely a good Friday. It is always nice to literally have time to stop and smell the flowers and that is what i am doing this weekend. no work , no extras just enjoying life. I went to my old campus yesterday and watched the deltas play kickball. It is amazing how something we once did as small children could still be fun now. It is nice in our still young lives to have a little fun. Having fun and smiling keeps you young. I remembered all the little moments during my college life. Those smiles and laughs that are still so fresh in my mind It made me smile again. Later on had dinner for my bff's birthday. Her boo did a great job of getting everyone together. I even got to spend some much needed time with my Carmen Sandiego. She has such a great personality. And she is sexy as hell. Not that I have ever tried anything but hell I am not blind either lol. We don't get to talk as much now as we once did because I am working now. So we did some catching up and just some overall chatting. There was a couple sitting across from us. This woman I will call tall trees and her stud I will call Jordan. Now tall trees for the last couple of weeks has been throwing hints that her relationship was not there anymore with Jordan.
But as I looked across the table she was wearing an engagement ring hhhhmmmm. Now just last week you were getting upset with me because we couldn't spend any time together. But all of a sudden now you are boo'd up for real. I hate when people try to bring me into their mess that I don't even know anything about. Glad I never answered that text back. Then we had the gay softball team. Which is always a blast. Gay boys and hunch punch is a party waiting to happen at any time lol. Now when we first got to the restaurant of course we had to clown because they messed up our seating. The manager tried to make everything right and they semi did. But instead of us all sitting at one big table we ended up in one big area at 2 different tables. Of course all the white people at one and the black people at one. Coincidence I think not. Now my bff's boo is white cus chocolate just don't work for her lol, and she and her mom(who i was surprised came) was at the table with us. Now my ex Country D was on one side of me and Carmen on the other. I felt at times that I was having to make sure my left and right side were both happy. Oh if I only knew what was to come later lol.
Of course we went back to bff's apartment for the after party. Now our other friend lips said that she wasn't going to be able to come. And of course this had all of us mad as hell cus we went to Atlanta for her and spent the night in the club with the "mullet" people. But she did show up in her surprise fashion. No one knew she was coming except for bff's boo. It was quite a surprise and made my bff happy. Then the party began. Next thing I know I see men flipping each other in the middle of the floor,kissing and slobbing each other down. (we no longer have to imagine what they do in their bedroom). I got not one but two lap dances. Good night for me. And I saw my ex Country D,try to make a move on Carmen, what the hell? We were all sitting on the couch and she asked Carmen to sit on her lap. She was making these faces behind her back like yea she working with something and damn she sexy. I was like this can't be happening again? The things people do once they get a little liquor in their system. Now Country D still proclaims that she is not a lesbian or bi,but as the years go by,her openness to the whole thing gets more and more intense. I think it is time to take off the shackles that bind us and let loose lol.
Part II coming.......
But as I looked across the table she was wearing an engagement ring hhhhmmmm. Now just last week you were getting upset with me because we couldn't spend any time together. But all of a sudden now you are boo'd up for real. I hate when people try to bring me into their mess that I don't even know anything about. Glad I never answered that text back. Then we had the gay softball team. Which is always a blast. Gay boys and hunch punch is a party waiting to happen at any time lol. Now when we first got to the restaurant of course we had to clown because they messed up our seating. The manager tried to make everything right and they semi did. But instead of us all sitting at one big table we ended up in one big area at 2 different tables. Of course all the white people at one and the black people at one. Coincidence I think not. Now my bff's boo is white cus chocolate just don't work for her lol, and she and her mom(who i was surprised came) was at the table with us. Now my ex Country D was on one side of me and Carmen on the other. I felt at times that I was having to make sure my left and right side were both happy. Oh if I only knew what was to come later lol.
Of course we went back to bff's apartment for the after party. Now our other friend lips said that she wasn't going to be able to come. And of course this had all of us mad as hell cus we went to Atlanta for her and spent the night in the club with the "mullet" people. But she did show up in her surprise fashion. No one knew she was coming except for bff's boo. It was quite a surprise and made my bff happy. Then the party began. Next thing I know I see men flipping each other in the middle of the floor,kissing and slobbing each other down. (we no longer have to imagine what they do in their bedroom). I got not one but two lap dances. Good night for me. And I saw my ex Country D,try to make a move on Carmen, what the hell? We were all sitting on the couch and she asked Carmen to sit on her lap. She was making these faces behind her back like yea she working with something and damn she sexy. I was like this can't be happening again? The things people do once they get a little liquor in their system. Now Country D still proclaims that she is not a lesbian or bi,but as the years go by,her openness to the whole thing gets more and more intense. I think it is time to take off the shackles that bind us and let loose lol.
Part II coming.......
Sunday, April 5, 2009
The Signs
I got this from Alix.....
I have really been thinking about the time that I wasted in the game of love with women. Did I really know before 5 years ago?Did I just hide it because it wasn't right? Parts of me say that I just never had time to notice,and other parts say that I did and just didn't know what to do with it. Honestly in my group of friends we never talked about being gay or people being gay. There were some guys that acted girly at my schools but no one ever really talked about it. I didn't go to one of those schools were people were talked about all the time. Lucky me I guess. I mean you had your hoes and your outcast but it wasn't news to them at how they were thought about. With my mom,grandpa and great aunt all dying while I was in school,I focused on so much in my head that a lot of times my own personal thoughts about my feelings were pushed to the side.
But I think the love of women was always there. I just never really paid attention because I always had boyfriends. Great boyfriends and I loved the sex. I think? I think now looking back that I just love sex. I don't think it would have matttered who it was coming from man or woman. I am just a freak who likes sex.
Clue 1:
Catch a girl Get a girl:all the girls would run with me because they knew I would protect them(just like a good lil stud). They all hugged on me and always wanted to be around me. And I loved the attention.
Clue 2: I always gave the best hugs and have been told that my whole life. Girls always found comfort in me. I hug like no other.
Clue 3: When in high school,I was the polo queen. Fresh to death. But never in a dress. I had the cutest friends and always had a good "team". Wonder why I am so picky dating now lol. All the guys always wanted my friends and got mad that I wouldn't give them up. never that lol.
Clue 4: LowRider magazine.-I read this when I was younger. Was really obsessed during Junior High. Women and cars. Was I really looking at the cars like I told myself I was? I would look at them for hours in their bikini's wondering what was behind them. So much time I wasted.
Clue 5:My dad's playboys. I would hide in the bathroom and read them. he kept them out in clear view where anyone could see them. It was no surprise. My parents were freaky and I still feel I get a lot of that from them. Ruined me lol.
Clue 6: Band Trips: We would have to change clothes and I would never rush to get into mine. I would look at how every girls body was shaped. The different colors of brown and ligh skin. How beautiful they all were in their own way.
Clue 7: The bff who never knew: twice my best-friend got naked in front of me. one time in high school and one time our freshman year of college. in high school,i never forgot her perky her breasts looked and how i felt they would taste in my mouth. i went to my boyfriends house after that to erase the thought from my mind. then freshman year we were in our room playing strip poker with two guys. of course i won. it came down to me and her. she nothing left on but a bra. she asked me"are u really going to make me take it off?" and for the first time I felt power over a woman and I said "yes" she handed it to me and put it on top of my head. she stood n front of me and i wanted to take her then and there. the boys were still there but i don't think either of us was paying attention at that point.
i never did anything with her.
Clue 8 my first experience: The person I came out to,the person I first kissed the first girl I did everything with. We are and will always be best-friends. But the first time I went down on her, I was not scared and I made her cum. She constantly told me how it could not have been my first time. It made me think...maybe I was made to do this............
It was probably so much more but I can't remember everything lol. But I have grown to love women in so many ways. When I came out to my big sister she told me that she always felt like I liked women. And was not surprised when I told her. She also told me that our other sister had a girlfriend. Now I had came out to this sister to. I wonder what made her not tell me? I can't judge you if I told you first? And I have never been judgemental of anything she has done. Oh well. Most of my friends also was not surprised except for one. We have pretty much been friends since the womb. Part of me feels like she was just upset because she never thought that of me, and she should know everything. Or maybe she was mad cus I didn't tell her first. I am very good at knowing my friends and I knew she wouldn't be able to handle it.
I love me now and the fact that I am free from my thoughts. I just wish I had started earlier.
Extra tidbit: I have been in love with Nia Long since fresh prince of bell air lol.
I have really been thinking about the time that I wasted in the game of love with women. Did I really know before 5 years ago?Did I just hide it because it wasn't right? Parts of me say that I just never had time to notice,and other parts say that I did and just didn't know what to do with it. Honestly in my group of friends we never talked about being gay or people being gay. There were some guys that acted girly at my schools but no one ever really talked about it. I didn't go to one of those schools were people were talked about all the time. Lucky me I guess. I mean you had your hoes and your outcast but it wasn't news to them at how they were thought about. With my mom,grandpa and great aunt all dying while I was in school,I focused on so much in my head that a lot of times my own personal thoughts about my feelings were pushed to the side.
But I think the love of women was always there. I just never really paid attention because I always had boyfriends. Great boyfriends and I loved the sex. I think? I think now looking back that I just love sex. I don't think it would have matttered who it was coming from man or woman. I am just a freak who likes sex.
Clue 1:
Catch a girl Get a girl:all the girls would run with me because they knew I would protect them(just like a good lil stud). They all hugged on me and always wanted to be around me. And I loved the attention.
Clue 2: I always gave the best hugs and have been told that my whole life. Girls always found comfort in me. I hug like no other.
Clue 3: When in high school,I was the polo queen. Fresh to death. But never in a dress. I had the cutest friends and always had a good "team". Wonder why I am so picky dating now lol. All the guys always wanted my friends and got mad that I wouldn't give them up. never that lol.
Clue 4: LowRider magazine.-I read this when I was younger. Was really obsessed during Junior High. Women and cars. Was I really looking at the cars like I told myself I was? I would look at them for hours in their bikini's wondering what was behind them. So much time I wasted.
Clue 5:My dad's playboys. I would hide in the bathroom and read them. he kept them out in clear view where anyone could see them. It was no surprise. My parents were freaky and I still feel I get a lot of that from them. Ruined me lol.
Clue 6: Band Trips: We would have to change clothes and I would never rush to get into mine. I would look at how every girls body was shaped. The different colors of brown and ligh skin. How beautiful they all were in their own way.
Clue 7: The bff who never knew: twice my best-friend got naked in front of me. one time in high school and one time our freshman year of college. in high school,i never forgot her perky her breasts looked and how i felt they would taste in my mouth. i went to my boyfriends house after that to erase the thought from my mind. then freshman year we were in our room playing strip poker with two guys. of course i won. it came down to me and her. she nothing left on but a bra. she asked me"are u really going to make me take it off?" and for the first time I felt power over a woman and I said "yes" she handed it to me and put it on top of my head. she stood n front of me and i wanted to take her then and there. the boys were still there but i don't think either of us was paying attention at that point.
i never did anything with her.
Clue 8 my first experience: The person I came out to,the person I first kissed the first girl I did everything with. We are and will always be best-friends. But the first time I went down on her, I was not scared and I made her cum. She constantly told me how it could not have been my first time. It made me think...maybe I was made to do this............
It was probably so much more but I can't remember everything lol. But I have grown to love women in so many ways. When I came out to my big sister she told me that she always felt like I liked women. And was not surprised when I told her. She also told me that our other sister had a girlfriend. Now I had came out to this sister to. I wonder what made her not tell me? I can't judge you if I told you first? And I have never been judgemental of anything she has done. Oh well. Most of my friends also was not surprised except for one. We have pretty much been friends since the womb. Part of me feels like she was just upset because she never thought that of me, and she should know everything. Or maybe she was mad cus I didn't tell her first. I am very good at knowing my friends and I knew she wouldn't be able to handle it.
I love me now and the fact that I am free from my thoughts. I just wish I had started earlier.
Extra tidbit: I have been in love with Nia Long since fresh prince of bell air lol.
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