The start of my new year.....

Well I would love to say that my year is getting off to a good start but it is not. My dad has upset me 3 days into the new year. As we last recall I was down on my luck towards the end of the year losing my job. Well I still have yet to get another one. Right now I am working at target and well it just isn't making ends meet. I had to ask my dad for some money and well he is making me pay him back. It upsets me because my sisters who are all older then me always ask him for money and they never pay him back. And he always does things for them and it's like I am the step child or something. It makes me mad because he always says that he is preparing me to be on my own and always helping me won't make me grow up. I guess it is what you can call tough love. I was about to get evicted. I think that is tough enough within itself. I don't know what I am going to do for the rest of the month. It is so frustrating to have to go thru this. I work so hard at target and it seems like I am working for pennies every time I get my check. It saddens me but right now there is nothing I can do but keep applying for other jobs. I never thought that with a Master's degree it would be this hard. I am trying to be optimistic and keep praying to the lord and being faithful but it is hard to not be down on myself.

Then there is my love life. One girl I was trying to date ,we were going good until she told me that she was pregnant,now of course I didn't do that I couldn't . She had slept with her ex and now she is about to have a baby. She always comes to me and wants to complain about the baby daddy. It drives me crazy that every girl I deal with has some issue or another. Then the love of my life has been acting kind of funny. She has done a lot for me in the past couple of weeks because I have been sick(again). But there are certain things that still bother me that she does. I doubt that they will ever change though. I constantly tell her how these things bother me and it seems like everything goes in one ear and out the other. *sigh* i just want this year to be better than last year. That is all I want. I want new opportunities and a new life. Sometimes I wonder if certain situations I am in should stay the way that they are. On a good note my uncle called me. Of course it was because my cousin told him I lost my job but it was good to hear from him. A lot of times I feel like my family doesn't care what goes on with me so it was good to know that he really does and actually talk to him on a personal level. My uncle has always been easy to talk to. Way more easier than my dad sometimes. And he treats me like his daughter. he has even said on occasion I am like his youngest daughter and it makes me feel good. My real dad is so hard on me. And he never really tells me why. Oh well. Here is to praying for better days........