You Got Me GOING in CIRCLES.....

OK so ....it has been a minute and let me just say that me saying a lot has been going on in my world is an understatement. Let's start with the basics. I was sick for like two weeks. Worse feeling ever. I haven't been that sick since junior high and I am not that old but that was over 10 years ago. It bothers me that now I am in a position in life where my job tells me how many days I can be sick. No one has control over that. You try to stay healthy but after awhile if that cold wants to creep up and bite you it is going to creep up and bite you..



OK now to the real nitty gritty.....lets start with my job. I don't like work anymore. I feel that when you start to hate your job in any form or fashion you need to move on. You are not going to put your all into it simply because you are going to have this attitude of I don't want to be there. I am sure everyone has gone thru it at some point. Most people get over it and move on to work another day. Others like me let it roll over them until they can' t take it anymore and well the resumes start filing everywhere. At this point I just need a change of scenery. I don't want to be there. I still love my co-workers because well we are friends and we share a lot and I would actually talk to them after I left. We are a small staff so we get close real quick and that is not a bad thing because well.....we are all trying to make it and true the boro is not the best place to make it big ....but it is a starting point and right now it is a point that I know I might not be leaving anytime soon so I have to make the most out of my situation.....



And speaking of situations....yes yes yes I know you knew it was coming....Love Love Love. I have learned a lot about dating and relationships in the past few months. 1. Sex can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing. Now I myself have never strayed away from sex. I don't have it with a lot of people but when I do have someone I want it all the time. Now that is a good thing because it keeps the juices flowing lol. But just having a relationship based on nothing but sex is not good I have experienced that and I definitely do not want to go back to that. I have been having issues of the heart. I am in love but I don't know deep down if this person will ever love me the way I love them. I have wished and hoped for it but it has not come to pass. They say you should wait forever for real love to happen but what after a long time it doesn't?Maybe I don't have the faith in the relationship that I thought I did? Or maybe it is the fact that so many lies have came up that they are clouding my mind into believing otherwise. I just want someone that can love me for me and not just toss me to the side. Sometimes I think it is hard for people to just do what is right and deal with the consequences. One of my good friends got hurt in this situation and no I didn't play a part in it because I was been lied to .....I didn't know she had a part to play in it. And as bad as I wish it didn't happen it had to so that both of us would know the truth.

Being lied to is something that is not easy to get over. I try my best to be as honest as I possibly can,that is not to say that I haven't lied because I have,everyone has but in my relationships i try to do what ever i can to avoid that.

I am hurt not just by words but by actions. Many times people get into situations that they just aren't ready to handle. You should always forgive people but never forget. Unfortunately me for I have a lot to not forget and the more time passes the more it gets worse before it gets better. I have a lot of thinking to do and not a lot of time. It is almost 08 and i promised myself that this stress and inconsistency would not follow me there. I want to be happy that is all.......