new start

sometimes it takes a lot to get to a certain point with a person. me and newnew have been there and back. we had our first fight,which looking back on it it was kind of cute. it made me realize that maybe i do care for her then i want to admit even to myself. she really got under my skin which isn't easy to do. but i couldn't stay upset....not at her. she is special to me. i may never have what i want with her but she is still special. i was very concerned about losing what i did have with her but i am happy that we are back on the right course. friendships and relationships can be so complicated sometimes lol.

i finally talked to my big sis today. it was nice to hear her voice. she is thinking about going back and finishing her degree which i am very happy about. education is important to me and i want my family to be able to take care of themselves. we are getting older and my dad is to. i don't want him to want for anything in his older age and i don't want him to have to work. he should be able to enjoy his golden years. anyway...she just got a HOUSE!!!which is good because well i am tired of staying with my other fam. it becomes to hectic and nerve racking sometimes to stay with them. i feel sometimes i have to turn into a person that i am not when i go to there house....with my sister i never have to do that....i can just be myself. i will have my own room and my own space which is good. and if i ever bring company with me....well we will have our space lol. i can't help it i am a freak what can i say.

the job hunt is still well....a hunt. i am going to focus this weekend on really going after somethings. who knows maybe i will move back to Memphis. don't want to but if the money talks loud enough i will. i am kind of scared of home. it is like the unknown to me. but only time will tell what road the lord leads me down....only time will tell