So many reasons....

There are so many reason to love a person. For instance,they take care of you, they hold you when you are down. They are there for you to talk to when you need them. They make you feel special, they never hurt you or if they do it is not intended. U can't explain it but you hurt when you are not around them. You miss them so much. This person allows you to feel like you can breath again. When you look into their eyes you can see you and them together for ever. Being in love is a beautiful union of spirits. Many people never get the chance to feel that way. And some people take it for granted. There are so many reasons to say this person means so much to you. But showing them is even better. Cooking them their favs,to show that you do listen to what they like. Running a warm bath after a long day. Leaving them little notes to say how special they are to you. Being in the moment. What happened to that with people?What happened to showing how you feel and care. And wanting that person to know all the time. Do people really know what real love is anymore?I know there are so many reasons I can't change how I show love and what I expect. And I don't think I should settle for anything less.

What is there to hide?

For the past couple of months this subject has came up and I have been wondering about it. What is their to hide in a relationship?

I have some friends who will let their significant other look thru their phone ,email and anything else that they may have. Others can look thru the phone but not the email.(the probably don't care about the email). While other people I know won't even let you look thru their phone.

Now I know when you are in a relationship ,that there has to be trust there or there is really nothing to fall back on. I think that once you get to a certain point with a person,i.e. been together a really long time or engaged, It shouldn't matter if that person looks thru your phone. Many times people don't want their "boo" to look thru their phone because that harmless flirting they were doing was much more then they made it off to be. I to myself have been in this situation and well I decided to look thru the phone.

It actually happened twice. And both times I found the answer that I was looking for but was not happy about it either time. It does hurt when someone lies to you to your face and it takes for you to be the private eye to find out. I guess once you get to the point you have to look in phones u should know that it is pretty much some lying going on. You should always go with your first mind. But to the lying party,why lie? In the end you are going to end up with a person that doesn't trust you and you have to try extra hard to get that back. If you can get it back at all. In all the situations of the past month,they have all managed to get their relationships back on track. But at what fault?Less trust in the relationship lingers,there may have been outside people that got hurt for no reason and now people can look at you as a liar. Will you ever be able to recover fully from that. We all hope that love conquers all but does it really?

I think that in a relationship you should be willing to share everything. That doesn't mean that someone should go thru your phone everyday but ,reassuring the person that you are with,that is nothing wrong with that. I think now with the advancements of technology at home and in the work place,dating and being in relationships will continue to get harder and harder. Only time will tell.....

The man is a Beast

I didn't write it but it is an interesting blog from yahoo and yes the man is a beast!

Friday, Aug 15, 2008 1:32 pm EDT

The mystery of Michael Phelps' iPod playlist

By Chris Chase

"In the long, storied history of Fourth-Place Medal's Investigative Unit (founded: Monday), one question has been asked by our readers more than any other. Today, on our five-day anniversary, we will attempt to tackle the biggest Olympic mystery of the Beijing Games: what is Michael Phelps listening to on his iPod?

In nearly every camera shot of Michael Phelps on dry land, he can be seen with iPod headphones dangling from his ears. The earbuds are a ubiquitous presence in the ready room and on the starting block; they're just as much a part of Phelps' 'uniform' as goggles and a swim cap. About two minutes prior to the start of a race, Phelps sheds the iPod along with his warm-ups. So, what is he listening to?

Podcasts of NPR's This American Life and Dylan live at The Supper Club. No wait, that's my iPod. Phelps listens to hip-hop music on his. He says it helps motivate him before a race.
While his pre-race tracklist varies, Phelps has said that "I'm Me" by Lil' Wayne has been on his playlist in Beijing. The track, off Weezy's mega-hit "Tha Carter III" features the line:
Yes I am the best/and no I ain't positive I'm definite/I know the game like I'm reffing itThat's about the only lyiric that's printable on a family blog.

Other artists that populate Phelps' iPod include: Jay-Z, Young Jeezy, Eminem and Outkast. (What, no 'Pac?) Occasionally, he'll throw some techno into the mix, but usually keeps things rap-centric. Phelps doesn't speak much about the specific songs he's listening to, but he did tell NBC in 2004 that Eminem's "'Til I Collapse" was on his most-played list at Athens. In 2005, he created a playlist for the website Rhapsody that included the songs "Roses" by Outkast, "Burn" by Usher, "Overnight Celebrity" by Twista and "Smile" by G-Unit.

Mystery: solved.

Lesbian Wars

*sigh* sometimes dealing with lesbians is to much time,to much hassle and to much stress. But the love of a woman can be so beautiful to. I have a new friend(not like that). More like a home girl. And I connect with her on a different level then my other bff. We have things in common but nothing that sets us up as the super duo or anything lol. She keeps me grounded at work and on my toes all at the same time. She is not from the Tenn which is a good thing. Fresh blood is always good. Keeps things interesting. I wonder sometimes why certain people are brought into your life. I feel she is here as a free spirit in mine. She keeps me laughing. gives me someone to talk to that won't be judgemental. She doesn't know enough about me to do so. But I do let her in. More then I do with a lot of people. Since the first day she walked into work ,she smiled at me and for some reason I felt that smile was going to lead to great things and it has. She is competition for me. I'm use to getting all the attention but she gets her own share of the limelight which makes em feel good. It is kind of a ying to my yang. Up until last week everything was smooth.

But of course it wouldn't be called lesbian wars without a little drama right?So she has girlfriend and I have my friend. They met and hit it off and well it got a little to close for comfort and almost ruined their relationships. No it wasn't my friends fault but more so a collective effort. A lot of people playing small parts into a major problem. Needless to say me and the new bff will have to kick it solo for awhile until things cool over. And maybe that is a good thing. It will allow us to get to know each other better and hopefully grow our friendship. And there is nothing wrong with that.


Why is it that jealous can ruin a relationship?I was talking to the new girl and everything was cool until the jealous devil showed it's head about my past(again). I have done everything right this time. Not brought her up in every convo. Not had them in the same place. But alas it is still an issue. I don't think it is anything I can get rid of or anything that makes me a bad person,it is what it is. But I was pissed. I was into the moment and her mind was elsewhere on her. She you don't want me to touch u cus you are jealous...well fine. I won't touch you at all. And that is all I am going to say about that......

olympics 2008

It is that time again. the gold medal chase. i must admit i love the summer games. never been a big fan of the winter games. but this year i have been into the swimming and I mean really into the swimming. I have been cheering at the tv like my life depended on it lol. The other night the men relay showed up and showed out! It was one of the best sports moments I've seen in my young life. If you missed it you missed a special moment.And by the way there was a black guy on the team. Only the second black man to win a medal in swimming!

I wish I knew where my mind takes me.....

*sigh* It seems every time I come home it is not as good as it should be. I should be happy to be in my home grown town. The M....famous for all the wrong reasons: The death of Martin Luther King Jr., The show the first 48 and of course Three Six Mafia. What about the positives like the food and the music?? And of course those Memphis Tigers baby!!!! Anyhoo. The trip wasn't that bad. I got to spend a lot of time with D.D.P. and all my god children. I didn't tell my family I was here. I didn't want to deal with any drama while I was here. I am going to see my grandma today before I leave but that is about it. I am also going to see my mom's grave. I haven't been in a very long time. My friend came with me but she is gone , I didn't want to take her with me cus I needed alone time with mom. I have a lot to talk about.I got to see a very special friend. I felt kind of weird at times cus sometimes I felt our friendship was more than that. And I don't want her girlfriend to feel that I am trying to mess up their relationship because I am not. I don't want to overstep my boundaries but I really do care about her a lot and wanting to get to know her more. Good friends are hard to come by and I know that she can be one. She doesn't like the distance between us but I can't really do anything about it right now,but just try to make the best of the situation. I also got to see the old roommate. Which sometimes is awkward for me because I never liked how our relationship ended the first go around and I never want to do anything for us to have to go back thru that again.


Anyway.....Have you ever been in love with someone and trying your best to move on but it is so hard?Especially when they are dating someone close to u? Sometimes I wish I didn't introduce her to people. And I am not saying this in a bad way but it just seems like she gets into my life to much sometimes. Don't get me wrong I am very happy with my new girl , it just takes a while to let go of the past u know??

And I know how it can be and that is why me and the new girl are taking our time. Do I love her?Not yet but we have time for that. We are still getting to know each other and she makes me happy and I want that for my friend to. It just seems that sometimes your friends have more power to hurt you then you would like for them to. People who care you about you the most sometimes,hurt you more then the people you consider the enemies. *sigh* Coming home brings up so many emotions ,and I just had to sit and listen to India Arie as I wrote this because I know I need to "Get It Together" to make my life better. Haters and more haters surround me but I will survive and come out on top. I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. And even thru these words I type he is healing me because he is in my thoughts. He is I and I am him. Beautiful in my skin. The things I go thru mold me into the person that I still continuing to grow and be. And I am thankful for the good and the bad. Cus without bad how boring my life would be.

Love, Peace , and Hair grease!