Tears and Dreams

Last night was not a good night.......

I had dreams of not being accepted for who I am.....who i have become and it scared me. People never have looked at me as the pretty one even though i am not ugly by no means. It gets hard sometimes to be who you want to be without someone judging you and making fun of you. I don't wear dresses and i don't dress up unless i have to. I wouldn't go to a wedding or a formal without a dress but that is appropriate for that time. on a everyday basis it just isn't me. I have gained weight and not just a little weight......a LOT of weight. I have been working out but is it really working ?? not when I don't have enough money to really change my eating habits. I tried to eat less but that made me sick. It seems like whenever i truly like someone it backfires on me. Except for one person. They have always loved me for who I am. I am sure that they may want me to change somethings but they know that is what makes me ... It is so hard to be yourself sometimes........