The Life and Times of the Jobless...

So I am sitting here doing what I do most days it seems. Check Bank account(still not enough zeros). Check facebook,myspace and downelink(still not enough messages). Spend several hours looking thru jobs and posting and sending my resume(can I please get a interview this time at least?). Going to the post office to mail resumes(doesn't help me more as they say). Being a head doctor thru all of this and not collecting the check to go with it(maybe 4 more years of school wouldn't be so bad?). I never realized the dram that goes on in my friends lives. Thank goodness for non-drama over this way.And of course thinking about life and love as I always do. This is my day in a nut shell. Throw in the occasional night out,birthday party,baby shower(dang everyone I know is having kids,no water for me). And of course my photography(the girl is getting good on photoshop ya'll). And that is me,in all of my dullness.


I need to meet new people,get out more,but dang that Ellen and Young and the Restless pull me back to the TV every time. I wonder sometimes will I not want to get out of this rut,then I realize oh yea I do have those bills to pay.(Looking at my phone at another number calling I can't answer). I leave for Memphis in the morning whoop ee!!( As sarcastic as it can get). I will miss roomie. This is the first time all year we will be away from each other for longer then some hours. I think it might do us good. Get away and reflect on some things. I really wish I could talk to Orange woman before I left. I don't want to take unwanted drama into a new year with me. It seems as though that has been an on going thing year after year and this year I don't want to do it. I really just want to talk to really see if she feels I am this bad person she thinks I am. Considering for once I can honestly say I haven't done anything,it makes me mad. I didn't talk back or bad mouth or even call her out of her name. So why do you hate me so? The world may never know. I may be blogging a lot more in the next couple of days. Simple because 1. I will probably be bored out of my mind and 2. it will be some interesting things going on. ( I haven't been home in a very long time). Oh well back to reading my new fav blog(shout out to Brothers and brown girl gone gay!lol).

My Grey Matter

OK so anyone that knows me well,knows that I LOVE Grey's Anatomy. Every Thursday I tune in to watch what happens and how the topics of the characters and what is going on in their lives blends in with my own life. It never fails that something always keys in to me.

Tonight one of the issues had to deal with the 'Nazi" Bailey. I could definitely feel her on this one. In high school I was popular but not enough to where I felt I fit in with the "in" crowd. I have always been the one that wasn't cute enough for the cute guys. Or popular enough for the "popular" guys. Even with girls I am not enough. It hurts sometimes to be so successful and be happy but still have that part of you that feels like you will never be or do enough.

We grow up trying to please everyone when really it is all about pleasing yourself. No one can make you happy but you and you have to make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. My life holds a lot of weight and there are a lot of things about me that I love. And even those parts I don't love but am still thankful for because the lord blessed me with them. So I sit back and I say hey life is great!! I am alive and well and that is what matters!